I’m gonna start an all girl punk band that sings really offensive songs like, “I don’t know how to tell you you’re bad at oral.”
Our second song is going to be called “My eyelashes are longer than your dick.”
id listen to you guys.
Another song could be “Christ will come before I do.”
Oh my god
I’m already a fan. I want merch.
Members of Congress are living off food stamps for a week to protest Republican cuts. It’s a challenge for them, but GOP cuts would hurt millions of everyday Americans.
Why does this not have more publicity. This needs it!
Signal boosting this A) because it deserves to be seen by more people, and b) because I appreciate some members of Congress are actually willing to see what it’s like living on food stamps in order to make their point about how horrifying cutting food stamps would be.
News flash, regressives: people on food stamps do not load up on Snickers bars and filet mignon. They’re limited in what they can buy, and oftentimes, it’s not enough to get by on. Go on thinking these are entitlements that let minorities live lives of luxury, comfortable in the knowledge that you’ll never go hungry.
You privileged, elitist pricks.
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
Not a student was drinking, not a frat made a sound
The adderall popped and the coffee was drank
In hopes that your mind won’t suddenly blank
The guys and the chicks depart from their beds
While visions of passing danced around in their heads
Crammed cafes and library dates
Regretting the days that you slept in late
While out on the campus there struck a big nerve
Of Asian kids sprinting to screw up the curve
The readings you ignored pile up to the ceiling
Our asses are saved by Wikipedia stealing
Time home for Thanksgiving was a bittersweet tease
Come back to find College screwing you on your knees
Facebook and Twitter prove a hefty temptation
Earning your citizenship in the procrasti-NATION
Increasingly worrisome for that borderline class
Friday nights out made it impossible to pass
All the moments we said “at least I have time”
Well the time has come…. did you do it? Neither did I.
Stressed and starved and screwed and sorry
That we skipped lecture to eat Chipotle and watch Maury
Sit down to find that you forgot your ID
…and your blue book, and pencil, and scantron–F*** ME!
Exams handed out, the questions complex
Pray that it’s over, like a night of bad sex
Winter break so close we can almost taste it
High School friends, kegs, spending every night wasted
Eyes begin wandering while we’re cramped in our seats
That one kid is dragged out for trying to cheat
Smelly dude next to me, chill bro you’re fine!
Lord knows that your grade will be better than mine
Hand in the exam, relieved that it’s done
It’s been real, Econ 100, but the furthest from fun
One down, three to go, and to all that relate:
HAPPY FINALS TO ALL, AND TO ALL PASSING GRADES!
On the 1st week of finals my teachers gave to meeeee
4 Hours of crying
3 Mental breakdowns
2 Thoughts of dropout
& A month of anxiety
i’m still stuck in step one